My first "Soccer" match (4 - 5/4/14)

4/4/14

I started today with an early morning run. I'm definitely improving my fitness, I'm sure of it. I can run further before needing a break and I don’t seem to be hitting the wall like I used to. When I got back I was so hot I changed and got straight into the pool. And then promptly got straight back out. It was freezing. That’s unbelievable. The general temperature had definitely gone down the past few evenings but surely not that much. I was now freezing instead. So after a hot shower I was ready for the day. I spent the rest of the morning and afternoon doing my best to catch up on my blog and then went out later on to do a food shop. Phil, Holly, Taze, Bren and Molly were all coming round to dinner tonight and I was cooking Jamie Oliver’s Mustard Chicken from his not so ‘30 minute meals’. I started the preparations early and Sandra helped me with some of the meal and in between this we all Skyped Mum and Dad which gave the others a chance to catch up. I didn't get much time to chat as I had a hot stove to slave over. It’s hard playing mum. At last the dinner was ready though and we all sat down at the table to eat. I think everyone enjoyed it which is good. After dinner we chilled for a bit and chatted before the others went home. We watched TV for a while and then I retired to bed.

5/4/14

After breakfast I went to get my haircut at the hairdressers down the road but was told to come back in about an hour as there wasn't anyone free at that time and it saved me hanging around. So I went back home and carried on trying to catch up with my blog. I went to get my haircut later on and then spent the rest of the day on the computer doing my blog. It takes a surprisingly long time I hope you all know. At 3pm Sandra dropped me to the station so I could catch the train into Perth as I was meeting up with my old school mate Keith at the Brisbane Hotel. I stopped for a quick bite to eat in McD's as there was potential of a bit of beer drinking tonight and then made my way to the hotel. The others weren't there yet so got myself a beer and waited for them. It didn't take them long to arrive and we found a few seats and sat down. The plan for tonight was to go to a Perth Glory “soccer” match in about an hour and so we spent the time at the pub chatting. I got introduced to his other two mates who were with him and we were soon having a laugh. I got told not to expect that much from the game as Perth were pony and the skill was somewhat non-existent, but they had season tickets and it would have been silly not to use them. It was the last game of the season. We made our way to the stadium and went to the standing area as that’s where our tickets were for. We were surrounded by Glory fans and some of their outfits were shocking. I had a purple bloke on one side, a really crap looking vampire behind and a bunch of chanting fatties in front. One of the fatties had caught the sun on his head which under normal circumstances is fine but this guy had been wearing a baseball cap. So the top half of his head was still white except for the small D shape where the strap does up at the back. Even the sunglasses mark behind his ears where the arms sit could be seen. Classic. Someone bought the first round and the game began. Within minutes Perth had scored from a penalty. I got given a warning and so stepped to one side of the standing zone. As the ball hit the back of the net every fan threw their beer in the air. It went everywhere. Everyone got drenched. Except me and one of Keith’s mates who had stepped out the way. The chanting began. For some reason all the chants are actually Christmas tunes. It’s a little surreal. I returned to my standing position, where I got slowly dripped on by beer from the ceiling, laughing at pretty much everything going on. We were chatting amongst ourselves when Perth scored again. This time there was no dodging the beer. I didn't throw mine up. It was too precious a commodity to waste! All I could do was laugh. Throughout the game the beers kept coming and the chants got worse. In the end Perth won 3-0 and I was tipsy. A very surprising result for everyone considering their reputation. After the match the four of us walked to get a cab but passed a diner on the way and ducked in for some food. We ordered a massive bottle of Coopers beer each and ate our food when it arrived. I’d ordered from the burger menu and chose the BLT burger. When it arrived I took a big bite expecting to bite into a succulent burger with juicy tomato, lettuce and bacon to accompany it. But my bite was distinctly lacking any beef. I opened the bun and was surprised to find it only contained bacon, lettuce and tomato. Why was this in the burger section of the menu? I asked. For the record over here when they say burger they mean bun so check ALL fillings before ordering. At home if it’s in the burger section it contains some sort of beef burger! Brilliant. After the meal some bright spark bet, as a result of beer, that they could probably fill their now empty bottle with piss. Not me before you ask, *cough* “Keith” *cough*. The rest of us challenged and he promptly disappeared into the toilet with his bottle to prove us wrong. He came back disappointed but had given it a good effort leaving his bottle in there thank god. And so ensued a literal weeing contest. One by one we disappeared into the loo to see what results we had. I went last feeling a little cheated as I’d been to the loo when we came in and so my stock was low. When I came out I sat down and all I had to say was “this is a stupid contest anyway”. I hadn't even managed half the bottle. So all in all the result was that to some employee there were now four empty bottles of coopers in the loo, one by the urinal (Keith), the other three (normal people) in the cubical.  And aside from that I have no idea what it proved. But for some reason Keith felt triumphant and I didn't. Actually it just proves that put a bunch of blokes together and anything becomes a good idea. We had a laugh though. We eventually got a cab to Leederville and met up with some more of Keith’s mates for a few drinks but the bar wasn't that great and pretty dead so about midnight Keith checked train times and we worked out that if we both left now we could get to Perth and our train’s, Keith’s to Fremantle and mine to the suburbs, would leave about the same time so we wouldn't need to hang around on our own for much time and versus a cab it would be much cheaper. So we said our goodbyes and left the others to it. We got to Leederville station and were busy chatting away and got straight on the train still talking. But after a while we tuned in to what was going on around us. The train was filled with kids that couldn't have been older than about 15 or 16 all dressed up heading into town for I presume a night of being turned away from pubs and clubs because they definitely didn't look old enough. Some of the outfits were shocking. One of the girls had hot pants on that would definitely not have been sold in the adult section of a shop because they were so small and she looked about 13. That makes me sound like a prude I know but I'm just glad I wasn't one of their dad’s because they wouldn't have left the house dressed in some of those outfits. But for me and Keith it was funny. We were on the escalators getting out of the station in Perth and one girl behind us said, in a very young high pitched voice “where are you two going tonight?”. Keith said “not sure yet what about you?”. She then replies “wherever you’re going”. So Keith then says “have you got ID”. “Yeah course” she says. We soon lost her outside though. In Perth we had a bit of time to kill before the train left and so decided to find a pub for a quick beer. Having found that most were closing and those that weren't had big queues we decided to people watch instead. We officially found the world’s worst street act going. This bloke had on a motorbike helmet painted silver, the shoulder , chest and back protector from motocross, under this was a T-shirt, this and the armour sat on his pot belly, he had motocross trousers on and motorbike gloves. This alone was laughable but his act was to dance like a robot to music from his large speaker. This was the best bit. He didn't move more than about an inch with any part of his body. And it was so slow. Robot, my arse. More like his dance version of paint drying or the run down Duracell bunny. Then he took the helmet off. This guy is an old Indian bloke probably at least 50. Just the cherry on the cake. The 80’s music he was playing, however, was really good. This attracted a group of drunk girls over and within minutes a street party had broken out dancing to Whitney Houston’s ‘I wanna dance with somebody’ and it was like a T-mobile flash mob advert. One girl had his helmet on, another had his body armour on. Keith and I couldn't stop laughing from the minute we got there. I doubt he got much money for his troubles. The time came for us to return to the station to catch our train out of “crazytown”. I said goodbye to Keith, probably for the last time before he left Australia, and we made a rough plan for me picking the suit up from him once I was home. I got on my train and was pleasantly surprised to see a couple of coppers on board as I’d heard there are some complete nob heads on these trains late at night. The journey to my station went without occurrence and I got off at my stop and stepped into the night. I was the only one around and it was eerily silent. The only thing nearby which was open was a petrol station so I walked over to that. I asked the guy if he had a cab number and he very nicely ordered a cab for me. It was there in about 10 minutes and I was soon on my way to the house. I got through the door about 1.30am and crashed into bed. It had been an awesome night and I’d laughed and drunk loads. May there be many more like it.